I dislike regretting things, but I have one for 2008: I wish I had fixed more relationships and things.
I ended up mending one broken bridge, but I have yet to see him or talk to him in person since then, so it may not count. I'll wish him a happy birthday on Friday.
This segues well into my New Year's resolutions:
In 2009 I will fix everything; all of my mistakes that began in 2007, they will all be patched over in 2009. I resolve to stop ruining other people's lives and turn my own around. Things are already at a great start. I will not jinx them by mentioning specifics, but I will, hopefully for the last time, make a plea for patience with me.
There are a specific pair of people for whom I have been a colossal thorn. For 2009, I am setting aside my own needs, wants, and aspirations to ensure that these two people will get exactly what they have been waiting for by the end of the year, and maybe more. This has gone on for approximately 1.4 years too long, but I will end it in 2009.
Another person, for whom I have just been a minor nuisance, will get exactly what is owed, and I am NOT referring exclusively to the events of November 2007. This person has been more than a friend, going above and beyond what anyone could ever possibly ask of someone, and all I have to show in grattitude is the most sincere,heartfelt thank-you I have ever offered someone. Words cannot express how much I appreciate having this person in my life in my time of need, and by the end of 2009, I will deliver a proper thanks, one that will express how immensely grateful I am for their presence and support.
I also resolve not to be an idiot. For a while I thought I had that covered, but I wouldn't be resolving not to now if I had.
My last resolution is to finish all of the games that I have bought in the past and have since taken to sitting on my shelf. The Final Fantasies, the Xenosagas, Disgaea 1+2, Magna Carta...all of them. I have no business buying more RPGS before I finish all of the ones I currently own. I might pick up some PS2 memory cards on clearance later in the year to accomodate all of my final saves...I don't take kindly to the idea of deleting the proof of 40+hour investments/timeburning.
Happy New Year!
Currently listening to Ozma (In my head...8P)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
This post's a roller coaster.
Yeah, I know, two days late. I've been pretty busy. My grandparents whom I have not seen in ages visited. My grandad's in pretty rough shape, but I'm glad he was able to make it out to GA. Tomorrow they're leaving for Louisiana first thing in the morning, so I had to say my goodbyes before I left for work today, as they are staying in a nearby hotel, because I am occupying the guest room at my father's house. Yeah, things have been pretty hectic.
So, as of late I have a real lock on how I will be drawing the strip. As soon as I get home to my comfy condo and drafting table, I will work out how I want to color it, whether digital or watercolor. Or digital watercolor! Either way, it will look good. I will demand it of the paper. As for the website, I have to figure out how to get all the latest-gen browsers to correctly read .css files so I can be absolutely sure my layout looks ok before I drop unknown amounts of cash on webspace. I will commit to posting SOMETHING on January 5, the first Monday of the New Year. That is, if I haven't gotten the control box for my new metal DDR pad by then. Otherwise, all bets are off on how I'm going to be spending my spare time...8D.
On a darker note, I attended a funeral today, for a friend with whom I went to high school. This was the second funeral I had attended, but this was a little more personal. It was held in a Catholic church. Upon entering, I was immediately crushed by the guilt Catholics feel they must impress unto themselves and others. I also got a taste of the endless Christian pageantry not found in most other denominations...excluding Evangelism. That being said, reality set in when I finally saw the casket, and I realized the gravity of what death meant...that a body with whom I had been friends lay in it, and that would be the last time I'd be in his presence again. At that point, I lost it. I privately sobbed in the back row, gathered my wits and dried my eyes and followed the casket and its procession outside, where it departed for final interment. I'm glad I wasn't present for that, I would have been subjected to Taps (He was shot in Afghanistan in service of the United States Army). Let me share a little story about Taps:
I was a Boy Scout growing up, and being the only kid in my troop who was also in band, I was designated the troop Bugler, which, IMO, was the best job to hold. I was responsible for telling everybody to get up with Revielle and salute the flag with...I forget the name, and to go to bed with Taps. For years I played Taps, and all it ever meant to me was that it was time to go to bed. It definitely is a mournful song, and I played it accordingly, but I had never heard it played for a burial.
A year or two back, a close friend of my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. It quickly overtook him, and he died two weeks short of the month his doctor said he had left. That was my first funeral, and I was composed for most of it, until I heard the most somber performance of Taps in what may as well be human history. At that moment, I truly understood Taps' s meaning and significance, and I fell to my knees and cried. I had played and played it well for years and the thought of death never crossed my mind until that one singular place in time, everything was just so clear to me. So from that day on, I hold the feeling I experienced that day in my chest when I play Taps, now annually on September 11th, from the highest point I'm allowed to get to. A year ago, I played it off the top of the SCAD-Atlanta building over the interstate at rush hour, as the sky began to turn a polluted orange. I was suprised to see traffic start slowing as I played. (That bugle gets REALLY loud). I'll never forget the feeling of instant, heavy-handed comprehension.
On that note, I have to get back to doing nothing at my job.
So, as of late I have a real lock on how I will be drawing the strip. As soon as I get home to my comfy condo and drafting table, I will work out how I want to color it, whether digital or watercolor. Or digital watercolor! Either way, it will look good. I will demand it of the paper. As for the website, I have to figure out how to get all the latest-gen browsers to correctly read .css files so I can be absolutely sure my layout looks ok before I drop unknown amounts of cash on webspace. I will commit to posting SOMETHING on January 5, the first Monday of the New Year. That is, if I haven't gotten the control box for my new metal DDR pad by then. Otherwise, all bets are off on how I'm going to be spending my spare time...8D.
On a darker note, I attended a funeral today, for a friend with whom I went to high school. This was the second funeral I had attended, but this was a little more personal. It was held in a Catholic church. Upon entering, I was immediately crushed by the guilt Catholics feel they must impress unto themselves and others. I also got a taste of the endless Christian pageantry not found in most other denominations...excluding Evangelism. That being said, reality set in when I finally saw the casket, and I realized the gravity of what death meant...that a body with whom I had been friends lay in it, and that would be the last time I'd be in his presence again. At that point, I lost it. I privately sobbed in the back row, gathered my wits and dried my eyes and followed the casket and its procession outside, where it departed for final interment. I'm glad I wasn't present for that, I would have been subjected to Taps (He was shot in Afghanistan in service of the United States Army). Let me share a little story about Taps:
I was a Boy Scout growing up, and being the only kid in my troop who was also in band, I was designated the troop Bugler, which, IMO, was the best job to hold. I was responsible for telling everybody to get up with Revielle and salute the flag with...I forget the name, and to go to bed with Taps. For years I played Taps, and all it ever meant to me was that it was time to go to bed. It definitely is a mournful song, and I played it accordingly, but I had never heard it played for a burial.
A year or two back, a close friend of my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. It quickly overtook him, and he died two weeks short of the month his doctor said he had left. That was my first funeral, and I was composed for most of it, until I heard the most somber performance of Taps in what may as well be human history. At that moment, I truly understood Taps' s meaning and significance, and I fell to my knees and cried. I had played and played it well for years and the thought of death never crossed my mind until that one singular place in time, everything was just so clear to me. So from that day on, I hold the feeling I experienced that day in my chest when I play Taps, now annually on September 11th, from the highest point I'm allowed to get to. A year ago, I played it off the top of the SCAD-Atlanta building over the interstate at rush hour, as the sky began to turn a polluted orange. I was suprised to see traffic start slowing as I played. (That bugle gets REALLY loud). I'll never forget the feeling of instant, heavy-handed comprehension.
On that note, I have to get back to doing nothing at my job.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I am so tired...
So tired, I would rather remain sitting here, at my computer, burning time on the Internet, than to get up, brush my teeth and go to bed.
Truth be told, there are a very limited number of sites I frequent every day, and after I've gotten my fill of them, I am left with nothing to do. Three hours later, I arise from my computer after having gone into some daze that allows me to waste time at superhuman levels. About three hours ago, I sat down to read some comics. One hour later I had read about 50 or so chapters and I wondered, "What next?" Well, it hit me like things that like to hit each other hit things, I would get onto a video streaming site and catch the only bits of 30 Rock I have yet to see (thanks to my Netflix account and lack of cable), the 3rd season.
30 Rock is the best show on tv. Hands down. I don't care if there's an effing Antiques Roadshow marathon on, 30 Rock is the smartest, funniest show I have seen in a long time, since Arrested Development was brutally canceled. I enjoy Scrubs, but both shows have a very different brand of humor, and lately Scrubs has gotten consistently over-the-top, and as a result (I am sad to say) very predictable. 30 Rock make me laugh in the most unexpected ways, and it is refreshing to see a show that does not follow a formula. Sure, the "Lightning-in-a-Bottle" has worked for some (er-HEM*Pixar*), but after some period of time, things of a certain brand fall into predictable patterns. Aforementioned comic was hardly fun to read because despite the odds against which the protagonists are set, they DO conquer their enemies, in the most (supposedly) conclusively awe-inspiring ways. Nobody important will ever die in a modern Disney movie. Actually, I'm pretty sure my previous statement was pretty general and unfactual, but I have neither the patience nor desire to sit through a Disney movie that was made in the past 10 years. I suppose what I'm getting at is that certain brands, certain hooks get tired and passe after a while, and while Scrubs has successfully kept me entertained for seven consecutive seasons, I'm growing a little impatient with the show's finale.
About one year ago, I was under the impression that Scrubs will have its seventh and final season very soon, and the nature of J.D. and Elliot's relationship will be etched into stone and Janitor's name will finally be revealed, and Dr. Cox and Jordan will marry and it will actually work, and Turk's diabetes is cured by Carla's Dominican voodoo and blahblahblah NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. Sure, the blame lies solely with the Writers' Strike, but truth be told, I was tired. I'm tired of the Scrubs ups-and-downs. I revere the series and its writers for being able to make me laugh one second and bring me to tears the next, but after six-and-a-half seasons (the seventh wasn't even 23 episodes!) I want some fucking closure! Now, after renegotiating rights between NBC and ABC, there's going to be a NINTH SEASON?! A SEASON THAT FOCUSES ON THE GROWTH OF THE INTERNS INTRODUCED IN THE EIGHTH SEASON? I came to enjoy and love the original cast, and I expect closure with said cast! Yes, the show's overarcing theme is growth and development, as an adult, as a career, and as a person, and coming full circle is a great way to end something amazing, but honest to your God, I just want the show to be over.
Don't get me wrong, I will still watch it, and I will probably laugh my ass off. But now it will have to compete for my time with 30 Rock.
If I didn't know any better, I would say that I wrote this drunk.
Truth be told, there are a very limited number of sites I frequent every day, and after I've gotten my fill of them, I am left with nothing to do. Three hours later, I arise from my computer after having gone into some daze that allows me to waste time at superhuman levels. About three hours ago, I sat down to read some comics. One hour later I had read about 50 or so chapters and I wondered, "What next?" Well, it hit me like things that like to hit each other hit things, I would get onto a video streaming site and catch the only bits of 30 Rock I have yet to see (thanks to my Netflix account and lack of cable), the 3rd season.
30 Rock is the best show on tv. Hands down. I don't care if there's an effing Antiques Roadshow marathon on, 30 Rock is the smartest, funniest show I have seen in a long time, since Arrested Development was brutally canceled. I enjoy Scrubs, but both shows have a very different brand of humor, and lately Scrubs has gotten consistently over-the-top, and as a result (I am sad to say) very predictable. 30 Rock make me laugh in the most unexpected ways, and it is refreshing to see a show that does not follow a formula. Sure, the "Lightning-in-a-Bottle" has worked for some (er-HEM*Pixar*), but after some period of time, things of a certain brand fall into predictable patterns. Aforementioned comic was hardly fun to read because despite the odds against which the protagonists are set, they DO conquer their enemies, in the most (supposedly) conclusively awe-inspiring ways. Nobody important will ever die in a modern Disney movie. Actually, I'm pretty sure my previous statement was pretty general and unfactual, but I have neither the patience nor desire to sit through a Disney movie that was made in the past 10 years. I suppose what I'm getting at is that certain brands, certain hooks get tired and passe after a while, and while Scrubs has successfully kept me entertained for seven consecutive seasons, I'm growing a little impatient with the show's finale.
About one year ago, I was under the impression that Scrubs will have its seventh and final season very soon, and the nature of J.D. and Elliot's relationship will be etched into stone and Janitor's name will finally be revealed, and Dr. Cox and Jordan will marry and it will actually work, and Turk's diabetes is cured by Carla's Dominican voodoo and blahblahblah NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. Sure, the blame lies solely with the Writers' Strike, but truth be told, I was tired. I'm tired of the Scrubs ups-and-downs. I revere the series and its writers for being able to make me laugh one second and bring me to tears the next, but after six-and-a-half seasons (the seventh wasn't even 23 episodes!) I want some fucking closure! Now, after renegotiating rights between NBC and ABC, there's going to be a NINTH SEASON?! A SEASON THAT FOCUSES ON THE GROWTH OF THE INTERNS INTRODUCED IN THE EIGHTH SEASON? I came to enjoy and love the original cast, and I expect closure with said cast! Yes, the show's overarcing theme is growth and development, as an adult, as a career, and as a person, and coming full circle is a great way to end something amazing, but honest to your God, I just want the show to be over.
Don't get me wrong, I will still watch it, and I will probably laugh my ass off. But now it will have to compete for my time with 30 Rock.
If I didn't know any better, I would say that I wrote this drunk.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
I hate Sundays, for the record. I enjoy my days off, but something's just so sour about Sunday evenings. The only thing for me that updates on Sundays is Horribleville, a comic I recently found. I am trying to wrap my head around MySQL, but to no avail. I have no idea what it is for, how to use it, and why I've installed onto my machine. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with PHP.
Oh well. Back on my head, then.
Oh well. Back on my head, then.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I am full of burritos and what passes for ground beef these days.
There's nothing better than late-night Taco Bell. Or early-morning Taco Bell. Or anytime Taco Bell. Tonight was different, though. Tonight, I had some of their ground "beef" for the first time since I realized it was gross, and have since opted for "steak" options. It was purely by mistake. I thought I had bellowed "CHEESY BEAN AND RICE BURRITOS" into the speaker clearly enough for the taco jockey not fuck up my order. We even hashed it out back and forth to make sure we were both perfectly clear on what I wanted.
Supposedly you get what you pay for. I paid $.89 for bad meat. My girlfriend gets free gas tonight.
Supposedly you get what you pay for. I paid $.89 for bad meat. My girlfriend gets free gas tonight.
Aww, I have champaigne all over my t-shirt now...
SO!
Here I am now. My name is Dean, the name with which I was born, not some internet identity crap. This blog is mostly to catalog my thoughts and serve as a running tab on progress on the projects I intend to run in the coming months. I welcome everyone's support and feedback, anyone that would give me the time of day. This will also serve as a forerunner to my next site that I am in the process of designing. Eventual goals will be to master CSS, learn PHP and build a fully functional site that will house my blog as well as my webcomic that I am also currently putting together.
A little about me:
I have been calling myself a college student for the past two years now, but I have been struggling so much to get things together to be able to even go. I've attended a cumulative freshman year over the past two, because my finances are a little more than prohibitive of keeping me in the most prestigious art school in the country. In my spare time, I burn it reading webcomics, an art form with I've fallen deeply in love, so much so that my girlfriend is moving out (LOL, not really). I have some very long loose ends that are in the process of stringing themselves together into a proper noose by which my neck shall hang...in the next six months or so. Video games are not the best use of my limited time. The "t" key on my blogmachine doesn't work as well as it should. I am 20, male, and have been claimed. I am half Japanese, half doesn't-matter,-I'm-Japanese.
I figure it's time to stop simply believing I'm an artist, and actually produce something worthwhile. I've never had a Deviant Art account, I don't enter any contests, I don't draw anything simply for the enjoyment of it! How do I have any legitimacy as an artist? It's time I stop consuming and start giving back! I'm not going to lie, a profit is the eventual goal of this venture, as I am human, and am subject to needing food every once and again, but I want to put food on my table doing the things I enjoy, not because I jockey a desk every weeknight from 6:00-10:00, although the flight benefits are pretty awesome.
This is an effort to build an internet presence. It seems like the thing to do these days, and anyone can do it. As of (yesterday) today, I resolve to turn things around, and be the content producer/supplier I've always wanted to be! Of course, I can't do it alone. I look to thousands of people just like me who enjoy taking serial nibbles of the Inernet everyday to take a second to look right back at me, if only for a few seconds!
I pledge to make regular updates on progress. A new site will be up later this month, or the beginning of the next, but it will only have a comic and a bit of self promotion.
Here I am now. My name is Dean, the name with which I was born, not some internet identity crap. This blog is mostly to catalog my thoughts and serve as a running tab on progress on the projects I intend to run in the coming months. I welcome everyone's support and feedback, anyone that would give me the time of day. This will also serve as a forerunner to my next site that I am in the process of designing. Eventual goals will be to master CSS, learn PHP and build a fully functional site that will house my blog as well as my webcomic that I am also currently putting together.
A little about me:
I have been calling myself a college student for the past two years now, but I have been struggling so much to get things together to be able to even go. I've attended a cumulative freshman year over the past two, because my finances are a little more than prohibitive of keeping me in the most prestigious art school in the country. In my spare time, I burn it reading webcomics, an art form with I've fallen deeply in love, so much so that my girlfriend is moving out (LOL, not really). I have some very long loose ends that are in the process of stringing themselves together into a proper noose by which my neck shall hang...in the next six months or so. Video games are not the best use of my limited time. The "t" key on my blogmachine doesn't work as well as it should. I am 20, male, and have been claimed. I am half Japanese, half doesn't-matter,-I'm-Japanese.
I figure it's time to stop simply believing I'm an artist, and actually produce something worthwhile. I've never had a Deviant Art account, I don't enter any contests, I don't draw anything simply for the enjoyment of it! How do I have any legitimacy as an artist? It's time I stop consuming and start giving back! I'm not going to lie, a profit is the eventual goal of this venture, as I am human, and am subject to needing food every once and again, but I want to put food on my table doing the things I enjoy, not because I jockey a desk every weeknight from 6:00-10:00, although the flight benefits are pretty awesome.
This is an effort to build an internet presence. It seems like the thing to do these days, and anyone can do it. As of (yesterday) today, I resolve to turn things around, and be the content producer/supplier I've always wanted to be! Of course, I can't do it alone. I look to thousands of people just like me who enjoy taking serial nibbles of the Inernet everyday to take a second to look right back at me, if only for a few seconds!
I pledge to make regular updates on progress. A new site will be up later this month, or the beginning of the next, but it will only have a comic and a bit of self promotion.
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