Death Note's Ending SPOILER ALERT

Am I alone in wanting Light to succeed? In wanting him to succeed, what does that say about me?

I bought volume 12 of the Death Note series today. I had already read it, thanks to scans available online, but this series is of a caliber worth buying. It was no less gripping and disturbing now than it was when I read the end a year ago.

In Light's mission for mankind, the question the series grapples with is simple: Is murder in the name of purging humanity of its less moral members just? Light sees himself as the god of his new world, as the ultimate punisher of the wicked. He sets out on a mission that to him, and hopefully other people, seems just. But in his exploits, the number of criminals he murders catches the eye of the police and eventually the world's most accomplished detective, L. He draws the ire of those job it is to protect people, not simply innocents, the people who are told are safe from Light's judgment.

Posit this for a second: We have, in our society, a belief structure to which some adhere and others don't. This belief structure involves retribution from a higher power, a god, in response to wicked and questionable deeds. To the people who do not live explicitly to His gospel, it seems as though "bad" goes relatively unpunished by their god. What a game-changer it would be if there suddenly was someone who made criminals morally accountable? They say that God works in mysterious, capricious ways, but it's made clear by their dogma: The wicked will be punished. Kira, the title imposed on the one doing the mass killings (Light) is, in the series, a very real punisher, one whose existence couldn't be denied, unlike our God by some. With the threat of actual punishment looming over humanity, one had no choice but to conform, to act as Kira wished, which was to be kind to one another. It was all he wished, for the world to become a better place for everyone.

Death Note offered a reality that would exist if our God was real; if we actually undeniably knew that punishment existed for our wrongdoing. If people knew that their lives were definitely held accountable for their sins, that they would toe the line, as the world did in the story.

Of course, the reality of it was that Light Yagami was human, and in his noble mission was subject to the frailty of his state. He lied, he manipulated, he cheated death and everyone close to him, all in the name of his mission, and at the very end went insane, having lost all sense of humanity. It was interesting to see his downward spiral; from an outstanding student to the man who was obsessed with eliminating anyone who stood in his way.

Why did he fail? Was it his own arrogance? Was it because he lost sight of what was important, to build his new world? Or was it simply because he was human?

I really, really wanted to see Light succeed. And for that I am very deeply disturbed by how I think. To see him at the end, it was chilling to see how someone who had such strong, righteous ideals could be turned into a monster.